WHO
PRACTICES POLYGAMY?
Polygamy
has been practiced by mankind for thousands of years. Many of the ancient
Israelites were polygamous, some having hundreds of wives. King Solomon
(peace be upon him) is said to have had seven hundred wives and three
hundred concubines. David (Dawood) had ninety-nine and Jacob (Yacub,
peace be upon them both) had four. Advice given by some Jewish wise
men state that no man should marry more than four wives. No early society
put any restrictions on the number of wives or put any conditions about
how they were to be treated. Jesus was not known to have spoken against
polygamy. As recently as the seventeenth century, polygamy was practiced
and accepted by the Christian Church. The Mormons (Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter Day Saints) has allowed and practiced polygamy in the United
States.
Monogamy
was introduced into Christianity at the time of Paul when many revisions
took place in Christianity. This was done in order for the church to
conform to the Greco-Roman culture where men were monogamous but owned
many slaves who were free for them to use: in other words, unrestricted
polygamy.
Early
Christians invented ideas that women were "full of sin" and
man was better off to "never marry." Since this would be the
end of mankind these same people compromised and said "marry only
one."
In
the American society many times when relations are strained, the husband
simply deserts his wife. The he cohabits with a prostitute or other
immoral woman without marriage. Actually there are three kinds of polygamy
practiced in Western societies: (1) serial polygamy, that is, marriage,
divorce, marriage, divorce, and so on any number of times; (2) a man
married to one woman but having and supporting one or more mistresses;
(3) an unmarried man having a number of mistresses. Islam condones but
discourages the first and forbids the other two.
Wars
cause the number of women to greatly exceed the number of men. In a
monogamous society these women, left without husbands or support, resort
to prostitution, illicit relationships with married men resulting in
illegitimate children with no responsibility on the part of the father,
or lonely spinsterhood or widowhood.
Some
Western men take the position that monogamy protects the rights of women.
But are these men really concerned about the rights of women? The society
has so many practices which exploit and suppress women, leading to women's
liberation movements from the suffragettes of the early twentieth century
to the feminists of today.
The
truth of the matter is that monogamy protects men, allowing them to
"play around" without responsibility. Easy birth control and
easy legal abortion has opened the door of illicit sex to woman and
she has been lured into the so-called sexual revolution. But she is
still the one who suffers the trauma of abortion and the side effects
of the birth control methods. Taking aside the plagues of venereal disease,
herpes and AIDS, the male continues to enjoy himself free of worry.
Men are the ones protected by monogamy while women continue to be victims
of men's desires. Polygamy is very much opposed by the male dominated
society because it would force men to face up to responsibility and
fidelity. It would force them to take responsibility for their polygamous
inclinations and would protect and provide for women and children.
Among
all the polygamous societies in history there were none which limited
the number of wives. All of the relationships were unrestricted. In
Islam, the regulations concerning polygamy limit the number of wives
a man can have while making him responsible for all of the women involved.
"Marry
women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you
shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one or one that
your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you
from doing injustice." (Qur'an 4:3)
This
verse from the Qur'an allows a man to marry more than one woman but
only if he can deal justly with them. Another verse says that a person
is unable to deal justly between wives, thus giving permission but discouraging.
"You
will never be able to deal justly between wives however much you desire
(to do so). But (if you have more than one wife) do not turn altogether
away (from one), leaving her in suspense..." (Qur'an 4:129)
While
the provision for polygamy makes the social system flexible enough to
deal with all kinds of conditions, it is not necessarily recommended
or preferred by Islam. Taking the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace
be upon him) is instructive. He was married to one woman, Khadijah,
for twenty-five years. It was only after her death when he had reached
the age of fifty that he entered into other marriages to promote friendships,
create alliances or to be an example of some lesson to the community;
also to show the Muslims how to treat their spouses under different
conditions of life.
The
Prophet (peace be upon him) was given inspiration from Allah about how
to deal with multiple marriages and the difficulties encountered therein.
It is not an easy matter for a man to handle two wives, two families,
and two households and still be just between the two. No man of reasonable
intelligence would enter into this situation without a great deal of
thought and very compelling reasons (other than sexual).
|
Some
people have said that the first wife must agree to the second marriage.
Others have said that the couple can put it into the marriage contract
that the man will not marry a second wife. First of all, neither the
Qur'an nor Hadith state that the first wife need be consulted at all
concerning a second marriage let alone gain her approval. Consideration
and compassion on the part of the man for his first wife should prompt
him to discuss the matter with her but he is not required to do so or
to gain her approval. Secondly, the Qur'an has explicitly given permission
for a man to marry "two or three or four." No one has the
authority to make a contract forbidding something that has been granted
by Allah.
The
bottom line in the marriage relationship is good morality and happiness,
creating a just and cohesive society where the needs of men and women
are well taken care of. The present Western society, which permits free
sex between consenting adults, has given rise to an abundance of irresponsible
sexual relationships, an abundance of "fatherless" children,
many unmarried teenage mothers; all becoming a burden on the country's
welfare system. In part, such an undesirable welfare burden has given
rise to bloated budget deficits which even an economically powerful
country like the United States cannot accommodate. Bloated budget deficits
have become a political football which is affecting the political system
of the United States.
In
short, we find that artificially created monogamy has become a factor
in ruining the family structure, and the social, economic and political
systems of the country.
It
must be a prophet, and indeed it was Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon
him) who directed Muslims to get married or observe patience until one
gets married. 'Abdullah b. Mas'ud reported Allah's messenger as saying,
"Young man, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for
it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality;
but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is
a means of suppressing sexual desire." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Islam
wants people to be married and to develop a good family structure. Also
Islam realizes the requirements of the society and the individual in
special circumstances where polygamy can be the solution to problems.
Therefore, Islam has allowed polygamy, limiting the number of wives
to four, but does not require or even recommend polygamy.
In
the Muslim societies of our times, polygamy is not frequently practiced
despite legal permission in many countries. It appears that the American
male is very polygamous, getting away with not taking responsibility
for the families he should be responsible for.
--Mary
Ali
(NOTE:
In this article polygamy has been used to mean polygyny meaning having
two or more wives. Islam forbids polyandry meaning having two or more
husbands.)
---------------------
INTRODUCTION
OF III&E
The
Institute of Islamic Information and Education (III&E) is dedicated
to the cause of Islam in North America through striving to elevate the
image of Islam and Muslims by providing the correct information about
Islamic beliefs, history and civilization from the authentic sources.
Enquiries are welcome.
For
more information please contact:
The
Institute of Islamic Information and Education P.O. Box 41129 Chicago,
IL 60641-0129 U.S.A.
Back to Content